What is Conflict Really Telling Us?

I just witnessed a very belligerent scene on the train where a woman tried to forcefully get into and out of a seat, whacking a man three times in the head with her huge bag. She then accused him of being selfish, arrogant, and immature. But who was she really talking about? Often the things we say about other people are about the behaviors we aren't owning and taking responsibility for in ourselves. The scene on the train is the perfect example of that: because the man wasn't acting the way she described -- she was!

Next time you start to rant about something, even if it's to yourself, take a step back. Listen to what you are saying and try to figure out where those negatives are showing up in your own life. For example, if you feel impatient waiting for what seems a long time in a line, are there times in your life when you show up late or make other people wait? If you get mad because someone is standing too close to you at the bus stop, are there times when you impose yourself on someone? The more you example your own reactions to other people's behavior, the more you'll understand your own behavior.

Have You Embraced Your Shadow Lately?

On the way to expressing our best selves, we run headlong into our shadow -- that part of us we'd like to keep hidden. But when we do that, we aren't fully embracing ourselves and it's impossible to live a fully authentic life. If you are interested in living the best life you can, take an inventory of your bad behaviors, triggers, and ongoing arguments. Then, think about what purpose they are serving in your life. Your shadow is important because it serves you -- by understanding how it serves you, you are better able to meet those needs in more positive ways. For example, I have a long-standing trend of overindulging in Ben and Jerry's, and when I look at that behavior, I understand I eat ice cream when I'm bored and what I'm really craving is novelty -- time to do something different, change the routine, or take a class or a trip! So, what's your shadow telling you?

It's All Okay

I know we're surrounded by more and more bad news and I just want to say it's all going to be okay. Everything is cyclical and from the crash, new things will arise. They might not be better in your eyes as they will be different and that's okay. I'm always a little exhilarated by turbulent times, as one never knows how it will end. But we know that it always DOES END, and from that ending will come a new beginning. A time to fluorish and not worry so much. A time when people won't be frozen in place by stress. A time when you too can breathe. Don't worry, that day is coming. It always does.

Relaxation 101

Stressed out? In a pickle? What do you do to calm down when life throws everything it's got at you? Here's a quick tip to help you calm down: it's known in yoga as belly breathing, and it is the quickest way I know of to get relaxing oxygen into your system. Step 1: Lie down. Some people find it easier to keep their knees bent; that's fine. Step 2: Place your hands on your stomach, and as you breathe IN, expand your stomach. Step 3: As you breath OUT, deflate your stomach. Step 4: Keep doing this at least until a count of 20. It will feel weird at first because it's pretty much the exact opposite of what we're taught to do -- but when you expand your stomach as you breath in, your diaphragm has more room to flex, helping to increase your capacity for oxygen. As you become adept at this technique, you can do it standing, sitting, even when you are trying to get to sleep. Try it, it works!

Gratitude and Manifestation

What are you grateful these days? I'm grateful for the ability to manifest just about anything I want on a daily basis. Case in point, I was wishing that the corner deli would serve falafel sandwiches just once, and the very next day, they had falafel on the menu for the rest of the week! They never serve falafel! I asked the cashier at 7-11 for a winning MegaMillions ticket and lo and behold got a ticket that returned 200% of my cost. (I should have asked for a ticket that would win XX million dollars! lol). I couldn't find the toothpaste in a drugstore recently until I walked past a store clerk explaining to another patron where the toothbrushes were. Bingo!

These might not seem like life-changing events to you, but they confirm to me that I can get what I want, when I want it at any time, and I am extremely grateful for that. Believing in that ability and being thankful for it creates more opportunities for the universe to give you exactly what you want. So once again I must reiterate: be careful for what you wish for, you just might get it! Happy wishing...

Manage Yourself

Hi folks,

Here is some very interesting information, straight from a medical doctor. Did you know that if you cross your arms and legs, you are actually telling your brain to connect its left and right hemispheres, which will increase the perception of pain! Keep that in mind any time you are anxious as you present, are killing yourself at the gym, are uncomfortable at the dentist, or anytime you are receiving negative feedback. There have to be hundreds of situations where uncrossing your arms and legs will increase your comfort level...think about that, and try it out today!

All Together Now

Okay, so you have asked for what you want. You know what your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats are. You've done a head to toe scan and you know how you are perceived and where the gap is between perception and reality. Now, what are you doing about it?

Ask for help! One of the best ways we can help ourselves is allowing other people to help us. Create your own board of advisors around a specific topic, whether it be career, communication skills, relationships, image management, whatever you wish. Convene regularly (in person, online, over the phone -- it doesn't matter) and ask your advisors to help you with a question, a dilemma, an opportunity.

It's okay to ask questions, even when it makes us feel vulnerable. Ask away, the universe will answer, and it will always give you everything you've ever wanted.